a stereotypical feeling, everyone has

Heart ache.

I was never one to experience heart ache.  I never opened my heart to anyone romantically because i never found anyone i cared about or wanted to know me at all.    I moved in with some friends, and found someone.  I had met him before.  Thought he was absolutely adorable.  Once we became roommates things just grew from there.  We started dating a month later.  I had never been so happy in my entire life.  I was convinced i had found him.  The one I was going to be with for the rest of my life.  Yes, we were different in every way possible, but i didn't care.  Yes we had completely different interests, but i didn't care.  Then as the months went by i noticed things were changing.  He didn't seem happy anymore.  All I wanted was for him to be happy.  I tortured myself wondering what i had done or what i could do to make him happy.  All the while completely missing the fact that he wasn't spending any time with me.  Never wanted to go out, if i was crying he would just avoid me.  I started to feel like an obligation to him.  I didn't want to let go because I cared so much.  It was then that I realized I had done what I swore I never would.  I had let him in.  I had fallen in love with someone which meant giving my heart to someone and trusting them not to break it.  Only after I realized that I was in love with him, it was clear he didn't feel the same way.  I felt horrible everyday.  I became introverted, closed off to the outside world.  I didn't know who i was anymore.  All I wanted to know was, what could i do to make him happy again.  As the inevitable came, he broke up with me.  And until yesterday I have tried to play it off as if I was fine with it, as if my life was better without him.  But truth be told, I'm heartbroken, he hurt me in the worst way possible and I don't think he has any idea.  And that is what hurts so bad.  The worst thing about this is I still love him.  All I want is for him to be happy.  I feel helpless, alone, and I just want to feel good again.  I never thought falling in love could feel this bad, but it does.